Darkness everywhere

Feeling...

cold?
upset?
painful?
left-out?
worried?
confused?
unknown?
worthless?
disappointed?
think too much?
misunderstanding?
darkness everywhere?

well..all yes..
Heys.. Welcome back to my world of darkness..
Still thot that i could just get out of the darkness..
But it seems to be the places that i shld be at..
I just can't be back myself..and had tried v hard..
Thot that my path is bright enough to walk out..
but.. it end up like that.. Shld i still continue?
Or shld i just give up on this loveless world?
Actually i shldn't be here anymore..
if is not because of you.. I'll just gave up everything..
and gone down to hell...
What for am i sitting here and cold droplets falling down?

I'm not that kind of gurl you see everyday..
i'm not a happy one..
i'm not a one that knows how to protect ownself..
i'm not myself..
i'm just a gurl that carries a broken smile everywhere she go..
i'm just acting like as if i know how to protect myself..
i'm just an unknown person who's still finding her soul..
A worthless person..

Nobody understands how i feel..
They just hack care whereva they go..
They don't even care about a single soul..
They just care about themselves..

I don't know whether how long will i still be on earth..
I just scared that i can't take it anymore..
In this world the filled with darkness..it's cold..

Bad Day

Illness becoming from bad to worse..
Headche the whole day..
Cough like hell..
almost late for skl lor..
I'M still NOT ready for skl!!
everything either forgot bring or never do..
GOING TO MAD SOON!!!!
[whyareusocoldtome?]

Afternoon GONE CRAZY!!!!
keep saying 'tong zhi wan shui!'
Lol..really scared that will i become a tong zhi lor..
haha..think too much le..
no wonder my headche worsen..

At night i received a vvvvv bad news..
this makes my headche WORSE!!!
but really sad..i cant believe it to happen so suddenly..
[...]

Movie gr

Arrgghh!!! Had a bad bad headche in skl today!
What the hell la.. maybe is drink too much le ba =xx
Still very high.. laughing down there for nothing..
Like pple from mental hospital de..
[3periodsmissingwhathappentoyou?]
[isitcozofektheyall,irritatedbythemcozofme?]
[ifreallyisme,plsforgiveme.idunmeanit..]
[ifthere'sanythingjusttellme]
[coziluvyou]

After skl went bishan.. walk lor..
den go watch movie..=]
the GHOST RIDER!!!
It is a nice movie =]
but in the middle abit draggy lor..
i'll rate it 75% nice ba...
Lame show lolx..
haha.. wanna watch more movies=D

Addicted to ...

Tired day..sick till very jia lak..
didnt go tuition..but went out with ting..
Hey Hey!!! ting ting bought me something..
=xx something that i wanna buy =D
haha.. lol.. i drink again.. too stress le..
fan nuo hen duo.. xiang ta xiang tai duo le..
disappointed that he.. so guai..cant go out mean cant out go..
miss you too much le.. i just scared that i cant take it only..
tou tou ai zhe yi ge ren de gan jue..
ni zhi dao shi hen tong ku de ma?
bu guan fa shen shem me shi..
wo zhi ai ni yi ge...

Lunch kim treat us at swenson[w/e]..
den went jp with ting.. saw her ex. =xx
lol.. not shuai de.. he more shuai =xx

evening went to see doctor..
bua ta han le..too jia lak le..
almost sei when walking..
illness seems to become WORSE..
lol... kana scolded by pa on the phone..
keep saying" u how old le?
still duno how to take care of urself ar??
still young meh? ur brian got something wrong isit?"
Walao lor.. like that say.. fine w/e
at least i got take medicine le hor..
if i dun care myself.. i won't take any medicine and
leave myself to death lor...
No need u say i also know la! f.

ADDICTED TO ALCOHOL!!!
I WANT MORE!!!
BUY ME MORE =XX

=xx

Wahaha!! Common test results out le..
Results SO "good" sia.. good till can die le..
Almost all the subjects failed badly lor..
i didnt even study a single page la..
Serve me Right!! Sobs.. Keep on slacking..
or even slppin' in class.. damn tired lor..

today i totally gone crazy lor..
non-human.. haha.. maybe is i miss him too much =xx
but also.. maybe he is avoiding me?? i duno..
ARRRGGHH!!! I SHLDN'T HAVE TOLD EK!!!
now huo hui ye lai bu ji le..
everybody know liao lor...
keep di-siao-ing me.. pls la.. like one person got wrong ma?
tio di-siao okay, can de.. but..infront of him..
i will paiseh de le.. (>.<)- Shy le!
Oh whateva..! i dun care whether the whole skl knows,
or the whole world knows, i just wanna his reply =xx
~I'LL BE WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY TILL.. .. ..~

2nd Day =)

Today wake up quite early le..
Went to relative's house bai lian..
and get ang bao.. haha...
At night went da raffles city there to meet aunties for dinner..
Shockin sia.. this world is soo small..
Guess what..haha i SAW KIRK!!!
at subway there buyin food =xx
LoL.. so good sia tonite..
ate ice-cream again...
this time round is Ben&Jerry...
banana split sia!!! Whoo!!!
NICE~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAPPY CNY!!! =))

18.02.07
This morning received ang bao from mama n papa..=))
From papa de.. total 5 angbao!! BUT gues what??
haha... 5 ang bao->9blue notes..
=D wahaha... You cfm tio shock ba..
haha... That's my 1st time receving soo much sia..
noon or night.. Went da bai shen..
den went da marina to eat dinner..
walk to esplanade eat haagen daz.
Fondue sia $34.90 le... lol
here cheaper den hk.. nice sia..
damn cold nia..

Tonite's =))

Went to Suntec City to meet family for dinner..
SAKAE SUSHI!!! Whoo!!! this rawkz manz...
Ate alot, coz too yummy le.. =p
Spent about S$90 for dinner..
not very ex le.. quite cheap le.. =)

After that we went to buy new year clothes..
i cant believe that i spent so much money on clothings sia..
maybe to u or whoever will say that S$40 on
2 tang-tops n 2 T-shirts is quite cheap le..
but if i compare to hk.. i can buy more than 4 items lor..
i really long time never really de shop and buy things le..

I THINKING OF YOU~! XD

Day after Vday..

15.02.07
Today i sick sia..
feeling damn cold when in skl..
wear the jacket almost through out the whole day lor..
not feeling well in class.. keep thinkin the same things over n over again..
by stopping myself, i tried to occupied myself by doing work..
chinese lesson de shi huo.. worse.. i began to think more n more..
cher still say must write compo.. title is "Still Miss u so much!!"
wah seh! She still play a song that is relayed to the compo de...
bu ku bu shi ren leh.. den i became worried n i started to cry..
recess to chapel cry again.. after crying.. feels so dizzy..
almost faint like that lor.. so i go sickbay lor..
slpt there for 4 periods till skl ends..
Damn bloody hot la!! i was like sweating like as if i'm in the sauna..

Actually hor.. i think back why i cry hor..
i was like.. What the hell am i thinking lor..
i dun even know lor.. of my brian lack of oxygen..
Maybe is miss him too much le lor..
siao already.. my brian can throw away le..

den went to skl de behind, call him..
coz he nvr come ma, worried lor..
haiz.. yuan lai shi zhe yang!!!
lol.. maybe i gib him de cookies to delicious le..
eat till sore throat=xx
LoL.. i'm sorry, boy boy...
i dun mean it.. coz it was really too delicious le..
haha.. Today i cried for nothing...
What The Hell Sia!!!

Valentine's Night

Forget about this morning happened de things ba...
Me, papa n mama went to swenson to eat dinner...
bu cuo le... Ate alot.. lol..
** i cant believe that my papa agree to let me do whatever i want..
as in percing, tattoo, going punky style in life also can!!!
Wahahaha.. but he said this.. u can do whatever u want,
But 1. no regret, 2. wont ruin ur face or other parts of ur body.
after that, go walk walk.. buy le a nice nice de belt.. and a pair of dangling earrings..
so nice lor.. haha.. 1st time really bought the things i like sia..
bought 2 comics too... haha.. cant live without comics too..
tonight was fun too, it covered my unhappy things..
bought me a smile.. Thank for today, papa!!! =)

Sad Valetine's Day

Today is the day that i've been lookin forward to..
It is the Valentine's Day!!
Thot that it will be a happy day for me..
It goes like this.. In the morning,
i saw soo many people receiving valentine gifts from their friends..
lookin at myself, i dun receive any at all...
what is this? so sian wu people got gifts from people they like,
lol... maybe is i think too much le...
nvm... yesterday bake de cookie.. @ 1st wanna pass to him in the morning de..
but i not enough courage.. dun dare.. den keep see him talkin to girl..
i admit la.. i chi chu lor.. he like bo chup bo chup de attitude..
is like this is the 1st time i gib present to pple in Vday lor..
after skl pass to him, he just say orh.. den walk away le..
what the lor.. he said that today will go out with me de..
but now? he is really busy? or lying to me?
i really duno what is he thinkin now lor...
i wanna know, but he like very cold towards me..
is he trying to bi kai wo?
i damn confuse now..

den i went to chapel there..
i CRIED... coz it was too painful..
i just cant stand that painfulness..
is just like someone stab u with a blunt knife.. forcing it into ur body..
i cant stop my tears from rollin down my face..
CRIED for one hour plus ba..
maybe u think that i'm mad or it doesnt worth it..
i duno.. i just cant stand it...
Still waiting for his reply lor...

now thinkin back i really wanna find someone who can lend my his shoulder to cry on..
the warmness that he have just left me..
feeling very cold now..
unknown feeling now...
just cant believe that today was a special one...
that i CRIED on a Valentine's day...

Day before V.Day

=) Today no needa go skl, so cool sia..
Slpt till 9+ den woke up by a phone from b.sis..
ting came to my house to do the IT day thingy..
hahass... after that we go out buy ingredients to bake cookies=)
for my bai ma wang zi =x..
haha.. the 1st 'pan' was too hot.. den the whole thing chao ta..
lol.. cant be eaten sia.. black like cher's face..=p
den i started bakin heart shape de...
thinking of him and bake, oh!! so SWEET!!!
haha.. passin to him tml after skl ba..
=D Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Finially~ but Oops!!

HaHa!! Today is the 2nd last paper..
next next week still got Physics..
But cool.. can relax le..
Slpt at cl class today, coz too tired..

But an accident happened at recess time..
Ooppsss!!! I dun mean it!!! Sorry!!!
LoL.. i pull ting's shirt.. den she like walk backwards..
den.. *piaa*.. the 2nd button fly out sia..
lol.. she damn angry la.. just walao n stomp off..
angry le.. lol.. but i really dun mean it ma..
conflict ended after skl la.. nothing happen le..=)

ting n me went to some places n she pig..
wateva la.. went eat ice-cream, rice, bubble tea..
went back skl, see pple.. slack at chapel till 5.30++
6++ den go home.. haha.. lame lor.. Whatever!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO U!!!

Happy Birthday To WEN JUN =p
Wahaha.. 16 le worx..
Old liao... LoL... Older den me la..
May all your wish come true =)
God Bless YOU =)

Haha... i'm just wondering whether will he tio birthday bash tml..
haha... tml last 2nd paper le...
Must Jia You!!
All The Best !!!
=) SmiLe (=

4 more days=)

Valentine's Days is coming in 4 days time...
I'm preparing something very special for a very special person...
haha... if you were very close to me or whateva..
you should know is know la hor.. He Is Eeerrrmm-heemm..
lol... Just giving him a surprise ba... but if i pass it to him with his friends around..
is like damn paiseh lor... but worth it la..
Just wanna be with him =)
But must see whether he want me or not la..
haha... I Just Wanna Say That :
imissu, iloveu, i'm in love with u..
Wishing to be by your side..
Aishiteru~!

Bloody Bio Test!!!

What the FUCK!!!!!
today bio test after skl..
is like the teacher dun care de lor..
WTF sia!!!
everyone is like chatting so damn loudly..
taking each other de papers go COPY???
WHAT IS THIS ???
ISN'T THIS A COMMON TEST???
WHY EVERYONE BEHIND THE CLASS IS COPYING???
THIS IS SO UNFAIR!!!
I DID IT ON MY OWN!!!
THEY LIKE HAPPILY COPYING BEHIND!?!?!
FUCKIN' UNFAIR!!!!
I WANNA COMPLAIN!!!!
I HATE THIS KIND OF ATTITUDE!!!
THIS TEST SUCK TO THE CORE!!!

Common Test

Wahh!!!
Common test started le..
So Scared..lol
Speaking the truth..
i didn't even touch a single book to revision lor..
Today worse sia..
Maths n Social studies..
maths ok de.. but ss jiu si liao..
ss paper total got 2 questions..
i did the section A liao..
Write afew sentences nia..
section B de question 10 marks..
i just leave it blank n go slp lor..
slp till paper end..lol..

Great News!!!
Today the choochoo train gone crazy..
keep chooing non-stop lor.. haha..
*wrote on the white-board*
' ITE Awaits! '
keep craping that we will go ite..
or call us to quit skl..
craping to just discourage us lor..
damn fuckin lame la..
he crap for his whole period..
saying ' why bother coming to skl? '
study la duh! he say he know how da teach..
teach teach teach..teach ge lan la!
kao bei so much..
keep saying ite : It's The End..
End ge pi arh!
Now ITE is even better den other private skl lor.
No Brian sia him..
Crazy one..lol..
Curse him to die!!!
Crush by Cars
Crush by mrt
Human ba chor mee..
Just dun wan to see his fuckin' face..
xia lan la him..
careful i burst your fuckin' mole!!!

Sabishi~!

Sian..
Boring!!!
tml common test start le..
still haven't study sia..
Mr Lai didnt come skl today again lor..
wondering whether is he okay lor..
skl damn fuckin' boring lor..
free period all day long..
Stayed in skl till 5.30plus den go home..
now still haven't even studied a single subject..

We Are Fish That Stays In A WorLd fiLL with Water.
LOL...

ting's bday

Hey Hey!!
Today is ting ting's bday..
i whack her 16 times on her shoulder lol..
after skl ..went to bishan home for the CIP hour..
Time flies quite fast lar..
At 1st saw those disabled people..
we were like dun dare to go near them or whateva..
awhile later, we get use to it..
we perform on stage, singing songs..
blah blah blah...
den we started calling people to come up to stage to dance..
end up like mad pple like that...

me mad jen ting n kel went my house downstairs den playground chat chat..
chat till like 6.45pm++ den go home n go straight to far east and cine for the stocks thingy..
=) i asked my mum whether can i put tattoo..
she replyed ok, but for short-time that kind lor..
like those that are spray on to skin de..
for 3 months that type lor..
i was shocked when i heard this lor..
but i must remove it when my papa come back lor..
if let him see le..sure tio whack de..lol

i AM SICK ! ! !

LoL..today i shldn't go skl lor..
in skl cold like as if i'm at north pole like that..
wear jacket le still cold..
stand under the hot sun still COLD..
what's wrong with me ???
slpt in the sick bay for duno how many hours..
whole day no mood to study..
went home slp again..
slpt for 4 hours plus..
still very tired..
den now siao liao lor..
got flu liao.. very jia lak..
shld i go skl tml??
but tml cip le..
dun go like very what like that..
haiz.. POOR ME...